I wasn't aware that Fabrication for Revit was available on version 2010 per your footer lol.
Seriously though, your first question about not being able to swap out is something that I am seeing when trying to swap clevis hanger for a roller hanger. Same pattern so it should show in the pallet.
For the exclude from fill not sticking on specific parts, are you reloading the database after you make the changes? Mine are sticking in 2020.